I'm gonna try to upload some memes to this site to see if the URL is suitable for attaching to other social media, but obviously I don't use Hatena anymore. I miss the good ol days.
Anyways, if you're actually getting notified for this/are reading this, here are my socials.
Remember when I said I would try to post more often? Ha. Sorry. It's been so long. I miss you guys. How have you all been? I really really hope you've all been doing well. I can't say so for myself. If I'm going to go through this shit, I want someone to be happy, though. God, it's been a living hell. I'm not even the same person anymore.
Have you guys been all right??? Please tell me you all have been hanging in there....
I can't do this. I don't care what anyone says. I'm NOT doing this. I'm not falling for it again.
My life has been so much easier, I've learned my lesson and I'm not about to throw it all down the drain. I seriously can't believe he would try to talk to me again, and invite me over, especially since he lost my number in the first place.
Men are so stupid. He might be able to forget what happened but I didn't. I learned my lesson, and I know that he hasn't changed a bit so why would I go over just to be harassed again? My life has been so easy without him dragging me down every two seconds. Just because we were friends for 3 years doesn't mean we can be friends again. Even if I were to trust you again, we can't be friends. We just can't. Our friendship was already heading downhill, you just made it way worse. We're too different now, we've changed. Especially you. I know we all change and grow apart but you.... you just turned into a completely different person. You went from the best friend anyone could ever have, to a person, that when I told other people two sentences about something you did they were already calling you names and telling me to give up on you and leave before I got hurt. I was too stupid to listen and thought I could help you. You're the reason I'm supposed to be seeing a counselor twice a week, you're the reason I have atelophobia, and why I'm afarid to be around people, and you think you can just walk back into my life?
What the hell do you take me for?
Oh my gosh!!!! I come back months later and I have a bunch of people subscribed to me. I'm sorry I didn't realize anyone was really reading my stuff. :(
I've actually been thinking about postign here again... would anyone read my posts....?
Is anyone still here? XD
What have you guys been up to in the last couple months? I miss my Hatena friends really bad. :(
Simple utter of words, the quick motion of touch
A brief statement, the brush of an arm
The yell, the glare, the despied remarks
Yet again they sink, seep into my bones
I cannot forget
The things I have done or will do
The effort, the panic, the crash
The words, the tears held back
Past battles relived
Attack, gash, hot burn, wound, eternal scar
The eyes that watch me
They never forgive, cannot forget
Every wrong movement
Comes to live once more
Breath short, faster it beats, Panic and Fear
They stab at the bloody wound
They laugh as they make their way through my viens
Faster and faster it beats, faster and faster it spins
The merry-go-round of Pain
Regret torments the heart too, he tickles with hurt
As the heart spins and spins
Love, Faith and Trust unable to stop the mery-go-round of Despair
They are tortured too
Slowly, slowly, it seeps into me.
The fast question, a mistaken accusation
A deep breath
I wish you knew you much it hurts...
But even if you did, would you care?
You tell me you care, then tell me you don't
I'm already so lost, must you blindfold me?
My own best friend, please don't leave me
I hate you! How could you do this to me?!
You'll be mine forever... I love you
WHY? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!
All I ever wanted was to be... was nor-
Nevermind, you wouldn't understand. You wouldn't care.
I'm getting dizzy
I need you, but I need to throw you away.
I want you, but I want the old you.
Panic and Fear take a step back
I spin less slowly....
Sadness, misery, melancholy, sorrow
Dispair is still better than being numb
My thinking clears
My emotions, they still work after being abused
The scars still bleed, my mind burns from time to time
But I wont give up
You'll be back one day
Back to You
And I'll be back too.
I love you but I'm letting go.
This isn't good-bye.
Flipnote Hatena Group
So is this a group blog or what? XD
...Tell me, when you've finally lost everything; your sanity, your friends, ...any people who cared about you, the ability to think clearly, the ability to do almost anything... When your hope, faith, love and trust are gone, and your future is grim and broken, and no one seems to even care, what do you do next? When your life has began to crumble and there's no going back and no fixing it, and the earth feels like it's cracking, shaking under your sore, tired feet but you can't stop it from letting you drop and drown in the darkness... what do you do? You've called and cried out for help, but the only voice you hear coming back is your own echo. You try to keep moving, but it feels like you're drowning; dieing alive, every step you take your body slows,you tremble, and just trying to stand makes you want to collapse, and give up, give in to the invisible forces dragging you down. Every breath you take is dry and still, but icy cold and it surges through your lungs. It takes away your soul, your reason to live, your passion. And yet you keep moving, feeling dead, a somber zombie. But you're still alive. And no mater what you do, you can't fix this crumbling, deserted and mournful path. You can't leave. Even if you wanted to, you have no will, your heart has broken; it is bruised and crushed, dry and filled with dust, no longer capable of caring or loving.
When your future is grim, dark, gloomy and dismal... When you feel like you're drowning alive and barely breathing and you struggle to just keep your mind working; turning, turning, and when you've lost all hope... when your friends have all abandoned you to the cruelty of this world,this world filled with hatred, death, lost faith and lust; when they've tossed you overboard or into the dust. When you've nothing to live for... when you've finally lost everything; your sanity, your friends... When your whole world has finally, officially fallen apart, and you're drowning for real this time, and the air seeping out of your chest, but no one is there to save you...
Tell me.... what happens next?